[:en]5 Ways to Develop Responsibility[:]



“Enlightenment means taking full responsibility for your life.” ~ William Blake

As a spiritual life coach and numerologist, I see that many people struggle with understanding and developing the skill of responsibility. Early on my spiritual path, I have made the same mistake. In our culture, the true meaning of responsibility is often obscured.

What Is Responsibility?

If you have a number 8 in your birth date, there is a good chance that you are already familiar with the energy of bringing the spiritual and material worlds together inside of you. If you don’t have an 8 in your birth date, you might be working on integrating the quality of responsibility right now. It’s not an easy task, but it can strengthen your potential for growth and fulfillment.number8

In other words, 8 is the number of power and mastery in material expression that comes from knowing who you are spiritually.

In general, people who have developed the skill of responsibility:

A responsible person accepts an active role in the flow of giving and receiving. Acknowledging that you have a role in this process is the key to mastering responsibility. If your role is passive and you expect everything to just happen to you, nothing of value will have a chance to enter your life and stay there. There is simply not enough nurturing energy for that to happen.

If you have a garden, you know that it needs your care to survive. Why don’t we always follow the same logic in every area of our life? We need to learn how to provide consistent care to people, activities, and things we value. Luckily, it’s a skill we can develop.

In a very insightful article on Heal Your Life, “How Responsibility Can Help Your Spiritual Growth”, Linda Howe, and award-winning author and leading expert in the field of Akashic Studies, shares her personal story of discovering the value of responsibility and calls it a “crucible” for inner transformation. She concludes, “Precisely by meeting my personal responsibilities, I was able to enjoy the deeper spiritual connection I sought. Ordinary human interactions provided me a pathway to share deeper relationships with others, build self-esteem and respect. Ironically, as much as I originally wanted to acquire those characteristics through magic, I found this everyday, ordinary route of living responsibly to be more magical than I ever anticipated.”

Many teachers spoke or wrote about responsibility as an integral part of any spiritual practice. Spiritual teacher and mystic, Vernon Howard, discusses spiritual responsibility as a very helpful attitude for inner growth in the video below. Basically, he says that at different stages of development it is very healthy to accept various responsibilities, that range from elementary material responsibilities to higher-level spiritual responsibilities.

How to Grow Your Responsibility Muscle?

So it turns out that “responsibility” is not a bad word. It allows us to keep and multiply that which we appreciate in life. It opens the door to more material, emotional, and spiritual abundance. Amazing!

Naturally, the first step in developing responsibility is to have appreciation for the things we want to keep in our life. We also need to realize the costs of acting and thinking irresponsibly, the costs of blocking the flow of abundance.

How can anyone begin to develop responsibility? Here are a few steps in this process. You can begin to exercise your responsibility muscle at any age and in any circumstances. Keep in mind that it is usually a gradual process.

  1. You are not a victim. The Universe is not working against you. It’s just a lie, that was repeated many times, perhaps, by other people, until it became your reality. To get anywhere, we need to see clearly where we are right now.
  1. Appreciate every experience. Every experience that you’ve had in your life was crucial for making you who you are and helping you to learn important lessons and become a better and greater version of yourself. Some of the gifts of the past are not yet accepted, because we weren’t ready to embrace them. We were too involved in the story. However, they are still there for you, patiently waiting for your acceptance and appreciation. Accept every relationship, every challenge, and every victory as a precious gift.

We don’t always see the gifts we exchange with each other behind a heavy facade of personal stories. Nevertheless, they are shared at a higher level of the soul. Gratitude opens the heart for accepting these hidden gifts, transforming your past, and freeing the future from past stories. Behind every story there is only love. Can you allow yourself to sense its magic? Another great teacher, Henri Nouwen wrote on the same topic: “When our gratitude for the past is only partial, our hope for a new future can never be full.”

  1. Practice gratitude. Nothing can grow on ungrateful soil. Gratitude is not always an easy and bubbly practice you do only when you are in the mood. We need to learn how to be in a grateful state all the time, and not only when something “good” happens. Otherwise, our vibrations will fluctuate too much and we will continue to go through emotional ups and downs.

Here is another quote from Henri Nouwen that I really like. “Grateful people are those who can celebrate even the pains of life because they trust that when harvest time comes the fruit will show that the pruning was not punishment but purification.” This quote means to me that we learn from every experience. Very often we learn much more from the situations that initially caused us pain and suffering. Who knows, without them, we might be stuck in our comfort zone and wouldn’t be who we are right now.

  1. Choose joy. Many people think that something has to happen first for them to begin feeling joyful. To me, choosing joy is part of my spiritual practice that I follow diligently. However, it doesn’t mean adopting a Pollyanna attitude or ignoring how things are. It means following the highest path and constantly letting go of false ideas that block joy in my heart. Of course, it requires an unwavering commitment to who I am. I wrote an article about the power of commitment a while ago. In Henri Nouwen’s words, “Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.”
  1. Support each other. We need to let go of our individual stories, and learn how to support each other and create a community of love, respect, and appreciation. We are all in the same boat. At this point in our collective evolution, we can only grow together. Thus, we need to be kind to each other, as our own progress and inner state directly depends on that. Kindness brings more kindness and teaches us who we are.

Often, we don’t remember that we are kind, generous, and deserving of support and love. Therefore, we need as many reminders of that as possible. Henri Nouwen talks about our need to be angels for each other: “We need to be angels for each other, to give each other strength and consolation. Because only when we fully realize that the cup of life is not only a cup of sorrow but also a cup of joy will we be able to drink it.”

About the author

life_purpose_coachingTanya Ince, Ph.D, is a spirtual life coach,  writer, astronumerologist, and trainer of Spiritual Technology methods of Zivorad Slavinski.  On her blog, Tanya writes about practical spirituality and personal development, and publishes daily numerology forecasts. Tо stay in touch, connect with Tanya on Facebook or follow her  on Twitter @TanyaCoaching.[:]



Anastasia Golovko

Tanya, thank you fro these suggestions. I like how you said ‘Some of the gifts of the past are not yet accepted’. I see myself challenged by the circumstances sometimes, and keep searching for the lesson in each helps a lot.


    Tanya Ince

    You are very welcome! It helps me too to shift the perspective.

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